we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
