she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
