i would punch a child for taco bell
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
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