could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize