I wish life had little blips of pornography
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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