I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
