I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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