hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
