Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
