So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
