Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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