we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
