Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
