Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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