So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
