dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
