dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
