I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
