thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
