I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
