i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
