i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize