dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
