I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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