ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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