I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
