we have officially lost it.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
