dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
