One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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