I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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