u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
