I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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