Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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