everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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