Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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