Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
