Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
