I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize