i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
