I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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