so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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