...so i touched it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
