hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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