It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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