He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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