my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
