Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
