Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
