Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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