I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
