whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
