yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
