rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
