I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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