Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
