Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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