I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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