You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I checked into jail on foursquare
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
