Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
