Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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