Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
