are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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