Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Found your dick twin last night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
