I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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