i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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