Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
